While I was reading Ruskin Bond’s A Book of Simple Living, a revelation of sorts happened. In one of the chapters in this book, the author refers to Lao Tzu’s thoughts which implies that trying to hold on to things in the world is the easiest way to lose it. That’s when it occurred to me that this was true for human relationships too.
So many times, people are so worried about losing their loved one that they cling on annoyingly and desperately. Despite acknowledging that death is inevitable and nobody is indispensable, they still fear the failure of a relationship. Not realizing that it is this very fear and the resultant actions that will cause the end.
How easy it is to say that one should just let things be and accept whatever is. Wish it was easy to do so too; let relationships take their own course, trust in one’s love and have faith in the divine. Maybe that too would be one way to make relationships survive longer. But more often than not the fear of losing a loved one overpowers the faith in love.
Rather than vying for another person’s love and attention it is more sensible to love yourself. Where there is love for one’s self, it automatically leads to love from others. Apart from that, loving yourself ensures that you are no more yearning for anybody else’s love. Once you realize your own worth, you also understand that the one who thinks you to be worthy enough of love will make all attempts to be with you and love you rather than stay aloof. When you start loving yourself, you start giving importance to your own needs over the others rather than expect others to do it. You start focusing on things that make you feel happy albeit without causing harm to other people. You cannot expect someone else to love you without you doing it yourself first. The love that you expect from anybody else is what you should be giving yourself. Being loved by a one particular person should never be made an essential element in life. It is ok if he/she cannot love you back; you will survive if that person is not a part of your life. So love yourself, let the rest be. Anyone who loves you will be there for you, no matter what. Love doesn’t have to be begged for; it has to be professed freely and handsomely.
Remember, love should never lead to fear or worry, it should only provide comfort. Love should be strength not a weakness.